Heart Attack Fatalities More Likely on the Weekend
In news that surprises no one, people are more likely to die of a heart attack on the weekend. Surprised? And it's not just because Bubba McFatty's blood pump couldn't handle the stress of his home team's double OT loss as he stuffed himself with the KFC value meal. No, the real reason Bubba McFatty is more likely to die is because doctors like having their weekends off too. And, contrary to popular opinion, doctors are real people too. It takes longer to get cathed, the hospital is running with a lighter staff so the waits are longer, etc. So please, try not to have a heart attack on the weekend. You might die.